I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
