why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
