You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
