either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
