i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize