I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
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I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
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I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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