am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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