dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
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He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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