Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
