no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
