Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
