my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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