I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
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You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
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The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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