Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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