this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
