Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
