so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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