was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
