Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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