What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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