ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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