At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
