I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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