Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
