On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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