i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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