You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
