____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I still have a little drunk in my system
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
