She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
