And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
