We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
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what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
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We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize