I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
