he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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