Your mouth is God's brothel.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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