Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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