i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
