what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
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You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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