I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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