Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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