I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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