i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
