Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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