I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
