The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
