Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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