i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
