Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
