Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I love you.
Bad choice
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
