it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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