Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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