I smell stomach acid.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
