Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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