Kiss
Puke
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
