its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
