A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
