Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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