Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
