too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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