i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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