At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
