you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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