shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I need water and some morals
Randomize
